It has been a jam-packed weekend for me! Usually, I would be inside my house chilling, watching Law & Order SVU, researching, studying, and/or doing homework BUT I chose to actually indulge a little bit in food, family, and friends this weekend. NO regrets whatsoever! The reason I chose to indulge a little more this weekend then others is because I was missing out on connecting with my family and friends. Connecting with others is one of the things I thrive on. For the longest, I did not want to be around people (true shit). I could not figure out why for a while then I realized it had to do with my self-image and the pain that I was experiencing but I am not going to get into all of that here I will save that for another blog post. So, I decided to spend time with my family and the people closest to me and let me tell you I feel so recharged and energized.
Which brings me to today’s read on the do’s and dont’s of self-awareness and some things to put in your #stmtoolkit. As I embarked on this journey new things have been popping up and coming to the front of my mind, I thought why not share some of the things that I have learned and some things that have actually helped me. These are some practical things that I urge you to keep in the front (not the back) of your mind. P.S. they are solely my opinions and things that I have learned while on my journey. Take everything with a grain of salt and do your own research. Here are my 10 do’s and dont’s + some practical resources, when you need to re-center and recharge. Let’s hop right into it…
DO: Reflect
DON’T: Dwell on the past
DO: Write down/say out loud what your truth is
DON’T: Cave into society’s view of you
DO: Consider talking to a trained professional
DON’T: Dump your problems onto another human being without permission and boundaries
P.S. We all have something that has happened to us, a problem that needs to be solved, an itch that needs to be scratched, etc. I suggest seeking counseling, spiritual healing, and/or therapy to cope and maneuver whatever it is that you need.
DO: Grant yourself grace
DON’T: Have a pity party and sulk for weeks
DO: Find ways to be resilient
DON’T: Shut down when things happen to you
I will go a little more in-depth with each of these do’s and dont’s in another blog post because it would take up too much of your time if I did it all here and I want to respect your time, so stay tuned for that. Now, let’s get into some practical resources and/or tools that you can put into your #stmtoolkit. Your toolkit will be your lifesaver when you need to recenter, refocus, and realign yourself.
Journal + Morning Pages
This one is quite self-explanatory. I highly suggest that you pick up a journal that you can write in and down your thoughts, feelings, prayers, etc. Down below are some of my favorite journals to use. Now, you might be wondering what are morning pages. Morning pages are “three pages of longhand, stream [sic] of consciousness writing, done first thing in the morning”. P.S. there is no one way of doing morning pages. It just flows, so let it flow. Do not force it. This is IDEAL for when you wake up in the morning and when your mind is the clearest.
Jung Typology Test
This personality/self-awareness test is AMAZING and I highly recommend. Click here to access the test and try it out for yourself. The test is based on Carl Jung’s and Isabel Briggs Myers’ personality type theory. It measures your strengths and personality which can really help you in life, in your career, occupation, communication, etc. This is a great test to aid in the feedback that you receive from others and will also help you as you navigate a lot of situations, places, and/or circumstances. You will get a better picture of who you are in terms of your personality. Now, in no way should you base your entire personality off of this test. That just would not be smart. It is a good measure and starting point BUT in no way should be your end all be all. Use this and other personality tests wisely and do your own research.
Ask the “Three Whys”
Now, what are the three “whys”? Well...“it is--asking the question "why?" three times to get to the real root of a question or problem“ (Zook, 2015). Simple right, well yes and no. The first thing I suggest is asking yourself a question that includes WHY and pertains to your journey, walk, and outcome. Start by jotting it down in your journal and make an action plan to help you carry out your goals which SHOULD align with your whys. Get very clear on your why and begin to operate in it. P.S. your why will not come to you overnight in most cases. It will take a lot of discipline, hard work, creativity, and exploration to find out your WHY or WHYs. Grant yourself grace that you may not get it today, tomorrow, or even next year but keep at it. Stay tuned for another blog post where I will discuss how you can pinpoint your why.
Build a Pause-and-Plan Response Habit
Now, this one I am still working on BUT let me tell you it works and has worked for me in a lot of situations recently. A pause-and-plan response “drives you in the opposite direction of the fight-or-flight response“ (K, 2017). It is important because it puts “the breaks on your impulses, thus increas[es] your willpower” (K, 2017). This ties into self-awareness because willpower means that you have control over yourself and your actions. This is the year, the moment, and the very second that you choose to NEVER again let anyone control you and/or the way that you show up BUT it is going to take you being aware of those situations and putting measures in place to stop whatever it is that gets out of control.
Practice Grounding Techniques
I love this one for when I am not feeling myself. Now, grounding techniques have absolutely nothing to do if you’re an Earth or Fire sign. It has to do with the simple fact that you and I are humans and we feel connection, vibration, frequency, and energy from the Earth. Grounded comes from the fact that “the Earth is like a gigantic battery that contains a natural, subtle electrical charge—a special kind of energy present in the ground” (Ober, Chevalier, & Zucker, 2017). Ultimately you and I feel more centered and balanced when we partake in different grounding activities or techniques. Grounding can include going barefoot and/or going outside and connecting with the elements or the different conductive structures. All of these activities help us draw the Earth’s energy. There are so many other ways to ground yourself if you do not prefer to go barefoot or go out in nature. Check out “Grounding the Human Body: The Healing Benefits of Earthing” for further information on grounding and some of the amazing benefits.
I hope that you were able to pull some inspiration and knowledge from today’s read. I want you to be able to reference this post often. It is helpful in terms of what you should look forward to when you embark on this journey. Again, stay tuned for later blog posts on the do’s and dont’s. Remember that #stmtoolkits are tools that can help you on your journey. They are tangible items, questions, phrases, statements, words, etc. that can help you when you are having a not-so-good day or just need something quick to reference.
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K, K. (2017, November 11). Willpower: Pause and Plan. Retrieved February 17, 2020, from https://beyourkeenest.com/willpower-pause-and-plan/
Ober, C., Chevalier, G., & Zucker, M. (2017, March 28). Grounding the Human Body: The Healing Benefits of Earthing. Retrieved February 17, 2020, from https://chopra.com/articles/grounding-the-human-body-the-healing-benefits-of-earthing
Zook, J. (2015, January 8). The Theory of The 3 Whys. Retrieved February 17, 2020, from https://www.inc.com/jason-surfrapp/the-theory-of-the-3-whys.html