I have been M.I.A. for a minute because I have been busy trying to figure out if this and other things in my life are for me or not.
For so long I have been faking it, just so I can say that I have made it. I have been out here trying to put on a front that I have my LIFE all the way together. BOY was I wrong. I do not have it all together. I have been TRYING to implement healthy habits to overcome past hurt and failures but it is rough out here.
I began to question my abilities, my worth, my value, my actions, and the lack thereof. Mentally I began replaying situations over and over again. FYI, it is absolutely exhausting. I began to question if I am worthy of forgiveness. I started to shy away from going to God and dropping my cares and worries unto him, because I really thought I was undeserving.
Finally, I said enough is enough and I reached out to a friend and was like “I need a pep talk”. Sometimes you may know what you need (sometimes you do not). In those moments, TALK IT OUT. You may need to hear A WORD from someone else.
I got my pep talk! I took what was said and processed it. Then, I took action. I am the person that needs to talk through an issue, situation, and/or problem. Whether it be with myself or with others. Then, I take a moment to process and then I take action. Sometimes this works out for me better than other times.
As I was talking it out, we realized that my issue is I care SO MUCH about what other people think. I care so much about how others perceive me. My ego begins to take over and I aim for perfection and control.
This is where the imposter syndrome comes into play. The self-doubt and thoughts of unworthiness begin to creep in, despite my success. When I cannot be perfect or I do not have control I either 1. RUN 2. THINK NEGATIVELY.
Honestly, I thought I was the only one on the face of the planet that felt this way. MAIA WHAT WERE YOU THINKING. I realized it happens to the best of us. I was reminded that one day you might feel crappy and tomorrow or another day you will feel on top of the world. Life is full of ebbs and flows. I remember Beyonce saying this: “Whenever I feel bad, I use the feeling to motivate me to work harder. I only allow myself one day to feel sorry for myself”
THE QUEEN SAID IT BEST!
I gave myself that day to feel like crap and then I used it to write this and to conquer my goals!
SO….in my moment alone I was thinking how do I CONQUER those feelings. How do I overcome negative self talk. I DO NOT BELIEVE in cookie cutter answers like think happy thoughts. That does not ALWAYS work (sometimes it does) BUT how can I actually take action. Here’s what works for me (FYI, these may or may not work for you):
1. TAKE A NAP: Rest is proven to help you recharge and heal. You do not have to be sick with a cold to always heal. Giving your mind a break is a form of healing.
2. CALL OR HANGOUT WITH A FRIEND: You must find that person that will get you back on the straight and narrow. There are friends that will give you fluff and then there are the ones who will tell it to you straight. Have both in your life and go to the one you need in that moment.
3. GO FOR A DRIVE: I told you I was a runner. I love to go for drives. When I am feeling down and out I like to connect with the outside. So I get in my car, turn on some good tunes, open the windows, & FEEL every movement. It helps me to think only about what is around me v. what I am thinking about inside me.
Again, these may or may not work for you. Here is another article by the Harvard Business Review to help you overcome the imposter syndrome:
In conclusion, I figured it out and I REALIZED THIS IS FOR ME! I am meant to DO THIS! I am meant to share my story/testimony, as well as spread awareness by bringing other women into the conversation. Right now I am under divine pressure and I ACCEPT the challenge. I ACCEPT the change. I ACCEPT the ebbs and flows of life. Do you accept the challenge? YOU GOT THIS GIRL! NEVER GIVE UP! NEVER GIVE IN! PUSH THROUGH! GO FULL FORCE! #SHETALKS #SHETALKSMOVEMENT #GIRLBOSS #HEALING