Today, we are doing things a little different on here! It is the first #mentalwealthmonday blog post feature! Every Monday we are going to introduce a new counselor, healer, and therapist to our blog and Instagram. She Talks Movement is a community of healers and women embarking on their healing journey. The women that are a part of this community are depositing a wealth of knowledge and I want you to be along for the ride.
Allow me to introduce you to Ja'Quasia Vandross, the founder and creator of therapyforthecolorgirls
This is a good read, so sit tight and ENJOY!
Let's hop right in...
How many times have you been told to “Just let it go and move on”? How many times have you been told “You're overthinking it, it's not that serious”? Letting go? Moving on? S**t why didn't I think of that!!
DON'T LET THAT GO!
BE WITH IT!
DEAL WITH IT!
HEAL FROM IT!
AND THEN, WHEN YOU'RE READY, LET IT GO!
If you do not heal from what hurt you, you'll bleed all over people who didn't cut you!
I mean honestly, what are you in a rush for? Is there some big event that's being held that only people who “claim” they are healed can attend? Do you think that if you take the time to heal yourself you are going to miss out on something spectacular? No Sis, You aren't missing out on a damn thing! Trust me!
I read somewhere that the wound is probably not your fault, but your healing is your responsibility (read that again sis!). No one else can heal for you, so don’t let anyone tell you that you need to move on… or that the trauma that you may have faced it's not that serious! F**k all that!
Stop trying to drink, smoke, ignore, and fuck the pain away… face it, feel it, and acknowledge it. Some of you (yes you) are only physically present, but your every response, reaction, and fear is coming from your past! Pretending to be savage, won't heal that hole in your heart babygirl.
Think about it... not healing leaves you trapped, and every time you experience a stressful situation your body will release the same exact chemicals that were released when that particular traumatic event occurred. That means that you will relieve the experience hundreds of times simply because you haven't HEALED!
Sit with it.
Sit with it.
Sit with it.
Even though you may want to run. Even though it may be stressful and a burden at times. Even though you're not quite sure of the way through. Sit with it, the healing is in the feeling!
Now, I am not saying that this is going to be an easy process, no boo it’ll be downright difficult at times! But it is a hell of a lot easier than pretending to be healed! Please don’t turn into that girl that runs around screaming “fuck feelings” (I’m begging you)! For one, that's tired and two, you'll look like a whole sociopath! Don't fake it until you make it, Face it until you heal from it!
Here are a few tips to help you on your journey to healing:
Accept it: Accept that there is a trauma. No matter how small or big, ACCEPT IT!
Admit it: Rather than walking around pretending that everything is okay when it’s not, admit that there is something wrong, admit that something is bothering you. Stop trying to boss your way through, baby girl you have nothing to prove to anyone but YOU!
Forgive yourself: SIS, It’s okay that you let yourself be vulnerable, it’s okay that you let your guard down. You're human, so quit being so hard on yourself.
Forgive the person/situation: FREE YOURSELF SIS. To forgive is to loosen the restraints that have been placed over your life by that particular person or situation. Don't allow anyone or anything to have the power to control your emotions, your feelings, and YOUR LIFE!
Trust yourself: When you've admitted it, accepted it, and have forgiven yourself as well as the person/situation, then and only then should you give yourself permission to let the shit go!
It's 2020 and we’re working on becoming healed and flourishing Women! Remember you are a boss, we don't pretend nor hide who we are...
Are you ready to "get your healing, sis?!"
Let me know in the comments if you are ready and willing to embark on your healing journey and if you enjoyed today's read by Ja'Quasia Vandross then make sure to check out her Instagram.
If you or someone you may know is interested in sharing their story on our platform, please do not hesitate in reaching out to me via email at firstname.lastname@example.org. Make sure to stay connected with us on Instagram. I am always looking to share more inspiring stories with women all over the globe! Until next time ladies!