Hello, my name is "Insecure"! I love long walks in your bedroom, at your office, at the college party that you just want to have fun at, but JUST can't seem to do because I am here. What's your name?
Insecurities have a funny way of creeping up on us in the most unexpected places and times. They follow us in our relationships, our friendships, at work, in the college classroom, the dorm room, the college party. You name it, insecurity has been a dark looming shadow over ALL of our heads.
As women, we have A LOT of insecurities, from the way our body looks to the way people perceive our intellect. It's daunting, it's time consuming, it's exhausting. We carry these burdens everywhere we go. We allow it to dictate and control the narrative of our lives. It gets to the point that the people around us only interact with our insecurities and not with who we TRULY are!
They only see the shyness, meekness, timidness, attention seeking, neediness, abrasive side of YOU, but in all actuality you are far from one or more of those things. You might be the person who loves to talk, but for the longest time was cast to the side and stopped talking OR you might be the person that talks to much because you do not feel heard and feel like you have to make it a point that you are there. You might be a person who procrastinates, but in all actuality you are perfectionist or just simply do not know where or how to start. [insert your insecurity] and FLIP the script!
As an individual who possesses a lot of insecurities, I can say that my biggest insecurity is PERFECTIONISM! WOAH, Perfectionism is a KILLER! I strive for perfection in everything that I do, whether that be the perfect friend, daughter, colleague, sister, etc. but I came to the realization that perfection does not get you anywhere when you begin to allow it to CONTROL the way you love and interact with the world.
Perfection and any other insecurity will have you crying at night in your bed, on the floor, or in the girl's bathroom, because it LIMITS and RESTRICTS who you are and what you are capable of because of FEAR. It places you in a box and expects you to operate in that box with limited functionality. It expects you to ONLY perform at a certain level! Insecurity will have you questioning your GOD given purpose. It will have you questioning just about ANYTHING!
Stepping outside of the box that insecurity seems to form for you is NOT easy. But is anything in life easy?! It is going to take time, it is going to take self-reflection/introspection. It is going to take for you to sit in your apartment, your bedroom, cubicle, WHEREVER and go through everything that triggers you and the people around you.
You are not going to want to listen or hear what people might have to say about you, BUT that is part of the process. You might not want to sit there and write or sit there and talk to yourself, whatever it is you have to do, JUST DO IT!
The process WILL not be easy. I wish that I could say that it is or will be, but I would be lying to you. The process, even though not easy is TOTALLY worth it. You will be able to create better relationships and boundaries. You may shed a tear or create a puddle, but a FLOWER does not grow without water (oh and the sun too!). YOU GOT THIS SIS! YOU ARE MORE THAN YOUR INSECURITY! YOU ARE MORE THAN THE BOX! THERE IS NO BOX! OWN YOUR LIFE!